Today Charlie Sheen appeared on a lot of talk shows. Let’s see what he had to say to “set the record straight” …
On being on drugs:
I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.
On how he reacted to the shutting down of Two and a Half Men:
I was disappointed. I think people misinterpret my passion for anger.
On suing CBS:
I don’t have a job. I’ve got a whole family to support and love. People a lot more important than me are relying on that money to fuel the magic.
On whether he is a violent person:
When it’s needed to protect my family, absolutely. And it’s unlike anything you will ever see.
On curing himself of addiction:
I closed my eyes and made it so with the power of my mind, and unlearned 22 years of fiction … the fiction of AA. It’s a silly book written by a broken-down fool…I am not an addict.
On why he turned to alcohol and drugs:
I did that because they work … change the way you see things and change the way you feel. And yeah, when you’re a little bit bored with the redundancy of certain aspects of your life, yeah, I think that’s why people do them.
On whether he will someday be embarrassed to have to explain his behaviour to his children:
God, no. Talk about an education. And then, like, this, and then that’s the guy, and that’s our dad and we can get all the answers and the truth? Wow, winning!
On how he avoids relapsing:
I just don’t do it. I will not believe that if I do something then I have to follow a certain path because it was written for normal people. People who aren’t special. People who don’t have tiger blood and Adonis DNA.
On life after Two and a Half Men:
Well, I mean, first of all come Wednesday morning they’re gonna rename it Charlie Bros. and not Warner Bros. Duh, winning! It’s, like, guys, IMDB right there, 62 movies and a ton of success. I mean, c’mon bro, I won best picture at 20. I wasn’t even trying. I wasn’t even warm.
Final thoughts on CBS:
Everybody thinks I should be begging for my job back, and I’m just gonna forewarn them, it’s everybody else who’s gonna be begging me for their job back. … If people think I’m insane or they don’t think that what I’m saying is true, I have no interest in their retarded opinions. I’m gonna live my life the way I want, I’m gonna win inside every moment, and they can just find the most comfortable chair in their small house and sit back and enjoy the show.
And finally, on himself:
I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars.