Archive for the ‘Journal Entries’ Category

Aah modern news media, you’re so transparent. This just in: Bullshit is happening somewhere…

Via: The Onion

There is hope for the youth afterall…

Parenting feedback: You’re doing it right!

In other adorable kid news, this is probably the worst Taekwondo fight you will ever see!

Sweep the leg! FINISH HIM!

Step 1. Stare at the red dot. Step 2. Watch the blue circle disappear. Step 3. ????? Step 4. Magic!

This informative news item brought to you by the good folks at FOX news. Meet me at the Fat Ho for a Sloppy Ho Biscuit!

“They say ooh that ho is big or look that ho is tight….and people say oh the economy’s bad and yadda yadda…somebody’s got to keep their sense of humour around here.”
“The volunteers at The Gospel Cafe wished the burger joint were a little more ho – ly.”

The WTF Supa Dupa Fly Ho With Cheese Award of the Week

I have always had a suspicion that PETA are really a front for a global porn network. Look at all those naked models and celebrities they use under the guise of animal protection. Surprise surprise that the People for the Ethical Treatment of Tits and Ass have a raunchy new Superbowl 2011 Ad.

Porn really is constructive, educational and good for animals.

Earlier today I went shopping at Capital Iron Hardware for some sturdy workman’s gloves (as you do). Look at the awesome pair I decided to go with…

Let be honest, it is better than nothing.

This photo of Kylie Minogue holding a teddy bear was allegedly banned from Facebook on the grounds that they “do not allow photos that contain nudity, drug use or violence.” I don’t get it. A little accidental penis grabbing never hurt anyone. Besides, I’m sure teddy bears are molested all the time. Get over it.

Just for the record, I am not a prude. The book below is very important to me. It’s an 80s classic and a firm part of my childhood and your could even say my manhood. Yes. A firm part of my…nevermind.

NY TIMES: “We try hard to shed our old image as stodgy and out of it. Perhaps too hard, sometimes. How else to explain our constant invocation of the old/new slang “hipster”? The word is not new, of course. The O.E.D. dates it to the 1940s and helpfully equates it with “hepcat.” American Heritage offers this quaint definition: One who is exceptionally aware of or interested in the latest trends and tastes, especially a devotee of modern jazz.

That’s all well and good New York Times, except I have found the best modern definition of the word “Hipster” and it comes in the form of a simple picture…

“I’m Voting Tea Party” by Jeremy Kalgreen.

I sent an email to the White House asking President Obama to comment on the Tea Party freaks and all I got back was this…

…so I’ve started a campaign of my own…