Hank Williams Jr. makes Fox News seem moderate.

ESPN announced today that it will pull Hank Williams Jr.’s familiar Monday Night Football theme song after the country music prince compared President Obama to Hitler on this morning’s Fox & Friends. He then went on to claim Obama and Vice President Biden were “the enemy,” confusingly referring to them as “The Three Stooges.” It’s no surprise that the interview was conducted by Fox News, however it is surprising that a man like Hank Williams Jr. managed to get all the way through school without learning much History, English or Math.
Fox News morning meeting: “Who can we get on our show to talk about Obama?” “How about that crazy country guy who sings about getting ready for a football game?”

“You know who is like Hitler? Hitler.” – Jon Stewart

Presidential Interruption

Crazy heckler interrupts President Obama during a fundraiser to call him the “antichrist”. Obama laughs it off, remains cool and then expresses concern for the heckler’s jacket after he is escorted out.

Dear FOX News,
I now hand this video over to you. Please find a way to make President Obama seem like the bad guy for disrespecting the heckler. If possible, send a memo to Bill O’Reilly and ask him to breakdown each second of this speech and put together a ten minute rant on Obama’s crusade against [insert any Republican agenda].
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin

Lindsay Lohan’s Locked Up Promo

Lindsay Lohan is in jail, and by “in jail” I mean under house arrest and by “house arrest” I mean a $1.4 million condo on Venice Beach. Apparently, celebrities who repeatedly break the law are not only given comfortable sentences but are also free to make a 15 second porno while still under house arrest…and by “porno” I mean a 15 second promo for Beezid.com. How much did she make? Only $25 000 and an extra $10 000 bidding credit on the site. So to tell you about how you too can start bidding right away and save up to 94% on items sold by a company with an “F” Better Business Bureau rating because they are a complete scam here’s Lindsay…

Endorsed by Lindsay Lohan! Sign up today!
“The site itself says they offer “unbelievable deals on brand new, brand name products, every day!” So when you think about it this sort of makes sense, because if there’s anyone who knows how to get brand new merchandise for nothing, it’s Lindsay Lohan.” (Quote via: WWTDD)

Why do we continue to care about semi-celebrity fuck ups when there are so many more important things to worry about like politics?

Jon Stewart owns Bill O’Reilly again!

“Jon Stewart made good on his promise to appear on The O’Reilly Factor to debate Bill O’Reilly on the subject of Common’s controversial appearance at a White House poetry event.”

Hipsters are destroying New York.

New York Metro went big this morning in an attempt to make sense of the current NYC population undercount. Their online headline is “Hipsters to Blame for Billions of Dollars in Census Losses?” but they amped it up younger for the bleary subway crowd.

Psssh, I was into taking the blame before it was cool.

Meanwhile, at the Democratic National Committee event in Texas, some guy was very very happy to meet President Obama…

Mission Accomplished [Photos of the Day]

From the official White House Flickr feed: “President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden, along with members of the national security team, receive an update on the mission against Osama bin Laden in the Situation Room of the White House, May 1, 2011.”

“Servicemen hang off a lamp post cheering in celebration as thousands of people celebrate in the streets at Ground Zero, the site of the World Trade Center, waving American flags and honking horns to celebrate the death of Al Qaeda founder and leader Osama bin Laden in New York City.”

“A vendor walks past a sand sculpture of Osama bin Laden created by Indian sand artist Sudarshan Patnaik on a beach in Puri, India.”

Did somebody order an accomplished mission?

President Obama roasts Donald Trump…

…and burns the birther movement at last night’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner F O R E V E R.

One of the great speeches in America’s history. Donald Trump you may as well give up now and go back to staring in the mirror whilst referring to yourself as a Golden God and paying former Miss Universe gold diggers for sex. You arrogant wannabe Republican comb-over carwash cunt.
Please see Seth Meyer’s destruction of Trump’s ego and the rest of the room below. Priceless.

12:05 – “And then of course there’s Donald Trump…he’s been saying he will run for President as a Republican which is surprising since I just assumed he was running as a joke. Donald Trump often appears on FOX news which is ironic because a fox often appears on his head…and I know that Trump is filthy rich but nobody told his accent.”

P.s., Today Obama sent a CIA mission to Pakistan to kill Osama Bin Laden. Bin Laden is now dead. Way he rolls.

Salmon.

A lot of people were too busy looking at Facebook and asked for an abbreviated version of Obama’s hour long State of the Union Address. The Internet, as usual, obligingly delivers…

To sum up, the key word here is “Salmon”.

Obama In Da Club

Footage of President Obama dancing during a Diwali celebration in India set to 50Cent’s In Da Club… because it’s funnier that way.

Sarah Palin’s Alaska

Sarah Palin prefers the great outdoors. “I’d rather be doing this than in some stuffy old political office,” the former vice presidential candidate declares in the just-released trailer for her TLC reality show where Palin is shown cross-country skiing, kayaking, riding an ATV and dog sledding in her home state of Alaska.

Terrifying, I know. Plus, I had no idea she owned Alaska.