Sandra Bullock splits with Jesse James

Posted: 2010/03/18 in Celebrity
Tags: , , , ,

According to various sources, Sandra Bullock has split with Jesse James. Normally, I wouldn’t think it necessary to blog about this sort of thing but since Sandra Bullock won the Best Actress Oscar in front of her tearfully supportive husband only two weeks ago something suspicious is going on. And by the power of Greyskull I will find out.

It wasn’t until yesterday that news spread about Jesse James cheating on his wife, but she obviously knew about it before then, because she moved out on Monday. The tatoo-laden ‘other woman’ who calls herself “The Socal Bombshell” must hold the record for the most tatoos on a mistress in history. She is the polar opposite of Sandra Bullock. Bullock’s clean, athletic, untatooed body has been featured on the cover of glamour magazines around the world; Michelle McGee’s body has been featured on her MySpace page. She is also an official model for AngryWhiteGirl clothing. I would never have expected that. According to her bio, she’s in med school and 90 percent covered in ink. Sounds like she’ll be a good doctor. “Hi Boys, I’m Michelle Bombshell, the busty tattoo goddess of your dreams. I’m 90% covered in the most artistic tats ever, head to toe. Except for my DD boobs! I am the hottest busty tattoo and fetish model you will ever meet on a webcam. Come have a hot and steamy affair with inked girls like me on live video.” Give her credit. She outlines what she wants fairly clearly. No innuendos there.

Jesse James and his tough guy act is so old and dated. Oohh, sleeve tattoos and motorcycles. What a rebel. I’ve never seen that before. He should change his name to Jesse Stereotype. It seems he really is a bad boy though and will now be killed. Wait, I mean kicked out on his ass.

While Sandra was away shooting ‘The Blind Side’ in Atlanta her husband was enjoying weekly meetings with Miss Soft Core Porn Tattoo.The two apparently met when McGee sent James a friend request because she hoped to model for him. She claims James responded on his personal email, asking to meet her. The affair allegedly started a week later when McGee made the two-hour drive from her San Diego home to West Coast Choppers in LA. It seems motorcycles are really the ones to blame here. No bikes. No tattooed tough girl photoshoots. No greasy hanky spanky. First, golf ruins Tiger Woods’ marriage now motorcycles ruin Sandra Bullock’s marriage. When will women take responsibility and not allow men to have dangerous hobbies like Golf.

According to Forbes, Bullock is worth 85 million dollars, so all this retard James had to do was have sex with Sandra Bullock forever and he’d get to split 85 million dollars. If anyone has ever been this fucking stupid before, the government has kept it under wraps, so as not to embolden American enemies.

Meanwhile, an important shipment arrives in Iraq to help the troops.


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