After ignoring every warning and disregarding every order, Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 90 days in jail yesterday for violating her probation. Harsh, I know. Maybe the judge doesn’t know she’s a celebrity drug addict. This is very different from being a regular drug addict. Haven’t they watched Celebrity Rehab with Dr Drew? That’s why we need to free her and get her back to what she does best. Stalking lesbian DJs and showing her ample cleavage.

Not even pouting at the judge with duck lips worked. It’s completely unfair that she was given 90days when she had no other option but to lie to the court. Pouting has worked for her entire career.

“This is so not fair to do this to my child,” a flabbergasted Dina Lohan said after sentencing. Enabling bitches aside, one of the terms of Lindsay’s probation is that she is not allowed to take drugs. Someone should tell her dentist.

In court yesterday, during Lindsays probation hearing, just before sentencing, she was crying to the judge and swearing that she’s changed and this wasn’t a joke to her, and she begged for the chance to prove that any mistakes of the past were simple misunderstandings and she had never done anything to deliberately disrespect the court? According to various news sources she had the word “fuck u” written on her fingernail the whole time. Legend. She’s an outlaw, a rock star, a narcissistic sociopath, the po-po can’t hold her, no one can. Fuck you Judge! We need her back! FREE LINDSAY LOHAN!

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