Broadway players Santino Fontana and David Furr deliver transcripts from MTV’s Jersey Shore in the style of Oscar Wilde. If I dare say, they succeed, rather brilliantly.

I’m hungover, I’m not having a good time, work blows dick for Skittles right now…I’m going to kill myself.”

I will fucking attack you like a squirrel monkey…if you leave I will stuff your nose with tampons.

I want to spoon…I want to fork.”

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