Posts Tagged ‘CNN’

Not in the bedroom! Don’t be crazy, it’s Anderson Cooper. “On last night’s AC360, Anderson Cooper took his Honesty Hammer(tm) to the single greatest threat our future existence has ever faced: The Smooshing Scourge known as Snooki…”

Mr. Cooper, the way you go on, you make Snooki out to be some kind of attention-seeking, grapefruit resembling sack of organs that you shouldn’t approach for fear of being sucked into a vortex of mental retardation.

Agreed, Anderson. However, you should be asking WHY Snooki exists. I fear you see this as too difficult a question, causing you to take refuge in exploring HOW she exists, which is a damn shame.


Via: CNN – An “Asian looking male” in his early 20s somehow managed to board an Air Canada flight, and make it all the way from Hong Kong to Vancouver, disguised as an elderly Caucasian man. He was intercepted by the Canada Border Services Agency upon landing in Canada, at which point he “proceeded to make a claim for refugee protection.”

The incident occurred on October 29 on Air Canada flight AC018 to Vancouver originating in Hong Kong. An intelligence alert from the Canada Border Services Agency describes the incident as an “unbelievable case of concealment.” The agency would not discuss when or why the man put on the disguise or details about how he boarded the plane. But the alert indicated that the suspect boarded the plane with a board pass belonging to another passenger. “It is believed that the subject and the actual United States Citizen passenger (whose date of birth is 1955) performed a boarding pass swap, with the subject using an Aeroplan card as identification to board the flight,” the alert said.

CNN – MGM Resorts defended its safety practices today after amateur video surfaced showing a lion attacking its trainer inside its habitat at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, Nevada, as horrified visitors to the hotel looked on. The video shows two trainers along with a lion and a lioness inside the habitat – a popular attraction at the hotel that opened more than 13 years ago.

Dave Salmoni, a big cat expert for Animal Planet, told CNN’s “Rick’s List” that the lion appeared to try to show his dominance over the trainer after the man “stiffened” when the animal turned his gaze on him. “What that tells the lion is: that guy’s nervous,” Salmoni said, adding that the lion interprets that nervousness into a need to dominate. “He went over and was doing what I would consider to be like a teenager testing his boundaries,” he said of the lion. “He went in and said, ‘I know I’m not allowed to bite people but I’m going to bite you and see what you can do back to me.'”

“Incidents where animal handlers are bitten are very rare,” he said, adding that the trainer “is in good health and anxious to return to work.”
Yeah, I bet he’s “anxious” to return to work. Very fucking anxious.

Every once in a while you gotta be like, “You know I’m a fucking lion, right?” The best part is the lioness going “seriously honey, calm down, he ain’t worth it.”

According to CNN, South African Dr. Sonnet Ehlers was on call one night four decades ago when a devastated rape victim walked in. Her eyes were lifeless; she was like a breathing corpse. “She looked at me and said, ‘If only I had teeth down there,'” recalled Ehlers, who was a 20-year-old medical researcher at the time. “I promised her I’d do something to help people like her one day.”

Forty years later, Rape-aXe was born. Ehlers is distributing the female condoms in the various South African cities where the World Cup soccer games are taking place. The woman inserts the latex condom like a tampon. Jagged rows of teeth-like hooks line its inside and attach on a man’s penis during penetration, Ehlers said. Once it lodges, only a doctor can remove it — a procedure Ehlers hopes will be done with authorities on standby to make an arrest. “It hurts, he cannot pee and walk when it’s on,” she said. “If he tries to remove it, it will clasp even tighter… however, it doesn’t break the skin, and there’s no danger of fluid exposure.”

South Africa has one of the highest rape rates in the world, according to Human Rights Watch. A 2009 report by the nation’s Medical Research Council found that 28 percent of men surveyed had raped a woman or girl, with one in 20 saying they had raped in the past year.

Ehlers said she sold her house and car to launch the project, and she planned to distribute 30,000 free devices under supervision during the World Cup period. “I consulted engineers, gynecologists and psychologists to help in the design and make sure it was safe,” she said. After the trial period, they’ll be available for about $2 a piece.

Speaking of the World Cup…