Posts Tagged ‘Oprah’


Wisconsin protesters shout “Fox lies” over and over, nearly drowning out Fox Business reporter Jeff Flock’s live broadcast…

What’s that, I couldn’t quite hear you. Are you trying to say FOX news has a habit of being less than truthful? What else is going on in obvious news today? Oh, Oprah has huge areolas.

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Hugh Jackman tries to kill himself on live TV after being included as an “Australian hero” in Oprah Winfrey’s Ultimate Australian Adventure.

“Aah mate, I seem to have busted my eye open ziplining, can I please have a tissue?”
That’s what you get for taking your show to Australia.

Dear audience members on Oprah’s annual Favourite Things episode: You can’t take it with you when you die. Calm the fuck down!

Then again, who doesn’t love watching middle-aged ladies losing their shit and freaking out over a free pair of yoga pants, shampoo, kitchen utensils etc etc etc…

In recent years, “singer” Jessica Simpson has been picked apart publicly for her relationships, breakups, bust size, haircolour and for actually marrying Nick Lachey. If she gains 10 pounds or wears what some consider an unflattering outfit, pictures are splashed across the tabloids. We all know how unfair and harsh the tabloid press can be and she has certainly been given a rough ride. Especially by John Mayer who infamously said in a recent Playboy interview, “That girl for me is like a drug and drugs aren’t good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me. Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm. I want to quit my life and just fuckin’ snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to fuck you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep fucking you.” Jessica has been on the brink of a nervous breakdown over Mayer’s compliments on her bedroom abilities. That’s why she sat down a few days ago with Oprah to pour her heart out about her “unfair” and “incorrect” weight criticism, the John Mayer controversy and of course to advertise her new reality show Vh1’s The Price of Beauty. She spoke candidly about John Mayer’s betrayal which “almost destroyed” her and said she did not accept his personal apology. On her new show, she travels around the world to explore other cultures’ notions of beauty and finds out that…(drum roll please) beauty is skin deep.

Jessica Simpson told Oprah, “I am glad I don’t look like Daisy Duke anymore.”
“So am I”, agreed No One On Earth.